My Addictions And Their Toll Began Early In Life
I always wanted to be the funny kid in the room. I needed validation and approval from other people. I didn’t feel fit for the world and was always trying to be somebody I wasn’t, because if you liked me you wouldn’t ask how I was feeling inside. I was repressing things.
I had really been into sports, especially baseball, but in middle school I started to overeat. It was the first coping mechanism that I resorted to. I put on a bunch of weight. I didn’t make the travel team one year as a result. I had a lot of confidence in myself from playing baseball. When that was taken away from me, I had to find something else
I had my first beer at the age 14. Drinking made me who I wanted to be, or at least so I thought. I’d always felt like I was missing a certain piece, thinking if I found it I’d feel complete. That’s what I found with drugs and alcohol, it made me feel like I was fixed.